We arrived at Epsom for what Tim had worked out earlier was our 52nd attendance at a ‘Guild’ race, but a debut appearance for Tim’s Mum, Rose; and the first person we saw after collecting our tickets was Lawrence Llewellyn-Bowen, who I must say was quite fanciable in the flesh, although he was rather boringly attired in a sober suit and tie combo, without even a hint of a Bryon-esque shirt sleeve to be seen – deeply disappointing.

As we had made such good time, we found ourselves with two or so hours to kill before racing began, so we opted for coffee and sandwiches in the very quaint O/T bar before moving outside attempting to brave the strong winds, but finally giving up when the parasol made a bid for freedom on the tail of a gust, we decided to move back inside, grabbing one of only two tables in the Champagne Salon upstairs where we were soon joined by Christine, David and their guests, closely followed by David, Bernice and Martin.

When Rose and I popped outside for a quick ‘ciggie’ break, we met Debs and her guests, complete with her lovely daughters Laura and Rebecca, so the ‘gang’ was complete.

Stuart soon joined us and said that Muffin and Surge had travelled very well together, although he did think that he had heard (and felt) a couple of small disagreements happening along the way – well, boys will be boys.

The day’s racing got off to a surprising start with a 33-1 win for first timer ‘Suzy Wong’, who needless to say, none of us had backed, but I did fare better with a win in the second, not too many bragging rights though, I think it was 100/30.

Now it was time for Muffin’s race, so we made our way, en-mass, to the parade ring to watch the pre-race preparations. Muffin looked as good as ever but was quite calm for the first few laps, but he did give us a short burst of his fancy footwork after a while which re-assured us.

Ian Mongan soon joined us and was instructed by Stuart to bring Muffin out and try to get him in a prominent position. Ian then asked if he would need to be ‘urged on’ to which Stuart and a few of us replied a resounding
NO! With some more fancy footwork displayed when Ian got in the saddle,
they were soon off to the start and we made our way to the viewing stand.

Muffin got a good start and was laid up in second place for the first three to four furlongs, barely half a length off the leader. When they turned into the straight Muffin took a slight lead for a short while, but coming up to the two furlong pole, the eventual winner, Woodcote Place, came off the rail and bumped Muffin from behind, then got into position on Muffin’s outside and began to take the race from Muffin and the other front runner. In the last 50-75 yds the burden of the extra weight started to take it’s toll on Muffin and third place was taken from him just before the line, leaving him in a very creditable fourth place.

Upon their return, Ian Mongan said that he had found Muffin very easy to ride and felt that he had run a good race and had established a good gallop for the bulk of the race, but he felt the weight was apparent in the last half furlong and was the only thing stopping him placing higher, but he was impressed with Muffin and suggested putting a ‘claimer’ on him as he is such a straight forward horse and an apprentice should have no problem handling him, and a 3 or 5lb weight allowance would help his cause.

Given the extra weight Muffin was carrying and given the standard of the race, I think it’s fair to say that we were all very happy with his performance.

There wasn’t too much time for discussion, as ‘Resurge’ was up in the next race, so most of the party made their way to watch with Christine and David, with the rest of us joining them outside the Winners Enclosure after a very convincing five length win. Congratulations again to Christine and David.

After all the excitement we made our way back to the bar and watched the last two races, except for David and Bernice who had left earlier for their long journey back home to Bude – (hope you had a good trip back).

Once again we had a brilliant day with great company.

Thanks as ever to Stuart and the team, to Ian Mongan for a great first ride and of course a big Well Done to Muffin.

Bye for now

Jackie & Tim

Hi all,

Firstly, unfortunately Stuart was unable to attend yesterday after being kicked by a horse. I’d like to send him my best wishes and hope he feels better soon.

Secondly I’d like to thank Paul for his inspired/foolish* (*delete as appropriate) decision to drive us to FFos Las.

For those who do not know FFos Las is in Wales about 30 miles west of the end of the world, or at least that’s how it felt. After leaving the end of the M4 we continued down increasingly narrowing and more isolated roads as we ventured to discover Britain’s newest racecourse. On more than one occasion, and particularly at the point where we arrived at a remote beach in the middle of nowhere, we feared we were lost and may have to watch Muffin on the tv in a bookmakers in a village with about 25 Ls in its name. Even the lady living in Paul’s Satnav seemed confused at times. However, in spite of language problems, we were helped by some friendly locals, finally arriving at the course about fifteen minutes before the first race.

FFos Las was smaller than I’d expected. Paul commented that 20,000 had attended the first meeting but we were bewildered as to how they had fitted in the compact grandstand and the nearby Real McCoy bar. I felt the track was a bit like Chepstow without the undulations. It has a long finishing straight of over half a mile containing four fences for the jump meetings. Like Chepstow there is also a shoot to enable shorter races to be run on a straight course.

On arrival we immediately made our way to the owners bar, overlooking the parade ring, to escape the rain which had started when we had crossed the Severn and which continued throughout the afternoon. The first race ended in a dead-heat but unfortunately I had backed the 11/2 horse rather than the 80/1 horse it shared first place with. After the race we found Neil and Judy who explained the unfortunate reason for Stuart’s absence. We discussed Muffin’s chances and were hopeful that the worsening rain would help his chances both because it would suit him and because it may disadvantage his improving, but less mature rivals.

By the third race the weather had continued to deteriorate. The hills surrounding the course which we had seen on our arrival were now but a distant memory shrouded in low cloud depositing a deluge of rain. The weather which had been a concern on our journey there was now looking a major problem. I feared that my cursed trips to watch Muffin in Wales (one abandoned meeting and Muffin breaking loose before the race) was about to strike again.

However, we refused to be pessimistic and made our way into the, by now, waterlogged parade along with one other owner who was brave/foolish* (delete as appropriate) enough to get soaked. Soon after Muffin appeared looking a bit more relaxed than usual. Perhaps the rain had a calming effect. Soon after Fergus appeared. He seemed to have no doubts racing would continue and said the horses were going through the ground well. He also said his intention was to ride Muffin positively at or near the front.

As the race started, true to his word Fergus sent Muffin into an early lead and he travelled strongly for the first half of the race. However in the final two furlongs the two favourites gradually wore him down and, finding himself in third he lost interest, in spite of Fergus’ urgings and eventually finished fifth.

After the race Muffin looked relaxed and was not blowing too hard. Fergus said that he had struggled to get a mile on the soft going and confirmed that Muffin had lost interest a bit of interest once passed. He added that given his current handicap mark he needed everything to fall right for him to have a chance at the moment. He also said he was up against some useful younger improving opposition in the race.

We retired to the bar for a brief discusiion with Judy. There is a general consensus that Muffin is getting wiser in his old age and will only put his all into a race if he has a chance of winning. In my opinion this is no bad thing as it will probably prolong his career if he is saving a bit for himself at times. After watching the remaining races and collecting a HUGE placepot dividend we started on the long wet journey home.

Finally, for anybody considering a trip to FFos Las I would advise giving yourself plenty of time for your journey and take an umbrella. It will be quite a challenge to find a more remote or wetter venue for Muffin’s next run.

Thanks to Judy, Neil and Paul and get well soon Stuart.

Cheers
Anthony

Too hot? To firm? Too far?

Victoria, I and Joan (although she was working) were the sole representatives of The Guild, on a very hot and expectant day at Windsor. The expectancy however seemed to be aimed more at the attempts of the England football team overcoming the old foe Germany, to reach the World Cup quarter finals.

As the middle day of three of the Windsor Festival, the “Family Fun Day” was pretty sparsely attended; (football related?), but those that were there had a great day to remember.

Stuart (and Tim in attendance) and Fergus had a decent beginning to the afternoon with a very creditable third in the opening race – the Toteplacepot Handicap Stakes on Michael’s Nook.

So the stage was set for Muffin.

Muffin was looking very relaxed (yes relaxed) in the pre-parade ring. I spoke with Stuart who said that Muffin was in good shape, and had travelled well, but was up against some decent horses, still, with the handicapper not being too kind………….all to do.

However, Stuart did say that as always, at Windsor, good watering meant the going was not as firm as it would be elsewhere – the Windsor mile – better than others due to the bends which would help Muffin.

To the Parade ring – Muffin looked great – and believe it or not was as good as gold – gently walking around with no hint of misbehaviour….. Instructions to Fergus were clear – a fast start was essential and make the pace!

We all retired to the stand to watch the drama unfold. The horse next to Muffin (Everybody Knows) however decided that he wanted to see the end of the football (why?) – and before the stalls were opened made a leap for freedom. A good 5-8 minutes of a single horse careering up and down the
course ensued, with eventually the attraction of the open gate to the Parade Ring proving too much to resist.

So, to the off – and great start by Fergus and Muffin, immediately taking up the running ahead of the favourite, Play it Sam.

In the stands Stuart, Tim, Joan, Victoria and I were all enjoying a fine run and the expectation level grew and grew (as did the noise level) as the furlongs disappeared.

With 2 to go Muffin was being pressed, and during the next 800 yards he really dug in. As he hit the last furlong Tim uttered the immortal (sometimes) phrase “He’s got it”! – and he had….2 ¼ lengths clear at the line.

A wonderful ride and the right result. We had some luck on the day, but in my opinion (and that counts) we deserved it!!

Well done Stuart, Fergus and all the team – even after the race Muffin was so relaxed and LOVING the attention.

Obviously it means the handicapper will be after us, but let’s all enjoy a great days racing – (20-1 madness) – shame our national team didn’t perform!!

Paul B.

Welcome to the race report for Muffin’s outing at Sandown on Saturday 12 June (my journalistic debut). Saturday brought us a fine and dry day – good for us, but not the best going for Muffin. In attendance were Dianne and Paul Kirk, Sandra and Anthony Hogg, Victoria and myself. After managing to negotiate the enhanced security network (get your badge before trying to park!) – We all met in the hospitable surroundings of the owners bar. Copious amounts of sandwiches, crisps, tea, coffee and cakes were provided free of charge – alcohol was purchased in equally enthusiastic quantities. We met up with Stuart and Judy also, only to find Judy dutifully dispatched to find a replacement alternator for the truck! After the first couple of races we all moved to the Pre-Parade ring and then on to the Parade Ring prior to the race. Muffin was certainly well turned out, and looked as if he was going to be unusually compliant as he was walked round, only to live up to his reputation before too long and let everyone know he was there!! Instructions duly delivered by Stuart we haired over to watch the race unfold.
After a promising early start Muffin looked as if he was ready to challenge – well looked anyway…..it became apparent that he didn’t have the engine of the chasing pack who unfortunately left him trailing somewhat. Despite a spirited run Muffin was about 3/4 of the way down the back at the finishing line.
In the debrief after the race, Fergus said that Muffin realised he was a beaten boy early on, and no amount of coaxing would have taken him back up the field.  To quote him “he just had no spark”. This opinion was backed up by Stuart who feels that in the wisdom of his years Muffin knows when
he is beaten. The upshot seems to be that Muffin really needs to be in the class 3 races to prevail and hopefully the handicappers will oblige! I have to say that if all the encouragement and words of bolstering shown by Dianne Kirk after the race towards Muffin were anything to go by he will come
out fighting next time!
Despite the disappointment of Muffin being beaten, all in attendance had a most enjoyable day and look forward to another outing (hopefully in the South) as soon as Stuart feels he is ready!

I, Simon Griffiths, Acting Returning Officer for the constituency of Chester Central (1:45 district) do hereby announce the following result:

Great as our electoral set-up is, there’s a lot to be said for replacing the “first past the post” system with something based on a popular vote – so long as that vote is based on parade ring preening, sideways walking and general haughtiness.

Having secured a table near the pre-parade ring, the Racing Guild cabinet members assembled and quickly secured a seat majority. Initially represented by the Bennions (leadership), Kittows (home office) and the Griffiths / Bradley coalition (sport, culture and alcohol), discussions soon turned to the prospects for the party’s local candidate, Muffin.

Having been parachuted into the constituency the night before, concerns were raised at Muffin’s apparent inability to eat up well and his general discomfort; concerns which were nervously laughed off as the party glitterati turned their minds back to making the most of the Chester expenses allowance. This somewhat stingy four-meal allowance was stretched to its limit with some out-of-the-box thinking and was only rumbled when party member Griffiths tried to include a duck pond and moat in his permitted dessert course.

The party brains trust was soon swelled with the arrivals of the Stams (equine insight), the Rogers (local knowledge and accent) and a solitary Lee (punting). Sadly, party member Farr (women’s affairs) did not make the meeting and thus lost her deposit.

In the parade ring, candidate Muffin did not look quite himself, head bowed at first – although he would subsequently perk up and do his usual step aerobics around the expansive Chester ring.

Local agent Fergus Sweeney soon arrived to take his instructions from campaign manager Kittow. The instructions were pretty simple – get him to the fore early (from an unfavourable draw, although this was aided by the withdrawal of Celtic Sultan on his immediate left), going right round the outside if need be.

I’m not sure if it was the early beers but I could have sworn that as I left the parade ring, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted an old silver haired man, stood in front of a large, hinged arrow. As I walked past, I’m sure I heard him breathlessly saying: “If predictions for this race are replicated across the country….then we’ll see a Racing Guild majority…watch the swingometer as all these seats turn blue and yellow….past the magic 325 number….leaving Coolmore and Godolphin on the opposition benches with a lone Dandy Nicholls to their left….”

And so to the race itself. Like a flip-flopping politician, Muffin lurched to the right initially before showing more left-leaning tendencies. As the early exit polls predicted, having made a significant concession to the left, he surged into an early joint lead. Coming round the second last bend, he seemed to still be going strongly – but then the wheels came off this particular campaign. Quickly swallowed up by the pack and heading backwards, it was clear that the Guild would have no say in the division of power. The unheralded Autumn Blades, also carrying those yellow and blue colours, took the plaudits while our candidate somehow trailed in last after Sweeney eased up in the latter stages.

After the race, in Spin Alley, the word on the street was that Muffin somehow struggled to go left-handed; an odd observation for a previous course winner. In addition, what looked like a stumble coming off the top bend was apparently Muffin changing legs – the horse racing equivalent of crossing the parliamentary floor – something which did his cause no good whatsoever. To make matters worse, there was even talk of a possible muscular tweak or niggle which will need investigating. Suddenly, the pre-race bad omens gained retrospective credence.

As the future of the Racing Guild party is almost wholly invested in this particular candidate, these are nervous times indeed. Let’s hope it’s just a blip and he comes back unscathed and fighting fit.

This commentator has made no secret of his nervousness of a strategy of aiming for solitary high profile wins when a campaign based around hoovering up smaller prizes may serve us better in the long term. Tilting at windmills may give us all a nice day out now and again – but will it deliver the results needed to make this party sustainable in the long run….?